The Ministry of Presence
Honoring Christ by Honoring Others
Just “being there" is so powerful. So powerful.
I have a good friend who embodies "the ministry of presence." This phrase, often used in chaplaincy, describes the power of God's man or woman simply being present with another in need. I like the way Dr. Stephen Davey of The Shepherd’s Seminary (Cary, North Carolina) put it:
"The best way to help people who are hurting is to just show up. Say little or nothing. Do not try to explain everything. Explanations never heal a broken heart.
To exercise the ministry of presence, you do not have to have anything figured out. You can be inspiring in your silence, but you might err when speaking. You may have heard the anonymous quote, ‘I have often regretted my speech, but never my silence.’1
“Being there” is not passive. It may look passive, but in fact, it is very active: active listening, active attention, active concern, and active prayer.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).
Of course, faith in Jesus Christ comes by the Word and the Word made flesh. Words matter. But sometimes the more incarnational expression of our faith is necessary. Being there—being completely present for the sake of another, with all faculties focused on that one in need—is a Biblical concept. Most of us recognize that being a truly good listener is a rare gift. We need many more. Yet the truth is that God calls us to be people who esteem others higher than ourselves, share our lives with others, and do so for the image of God within us all, bringing honor to God. And that leads me to say this:
Christianity is not transactional; it is relational. It is relational because our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, related to us in the most incarnational way—God never ceasing to be God while taking on flesh, so that He might relate to us in the most existentially personal way possible.
“Being there” is not passive. It may look passive, but in fact, it is very active: active listening, active attention, active concern, and active prayer.
—Michael A. Milton
Thus, the Church could not—and must not—approach its mission in a transactional manner. There is ample evidence that when the Church employs transactional methods, the results often fall somewhere between negative and catastrophic.
This reflection made me think about Martin Buber’s classic I and Thou, which I read many years ago.2 It demonstrates that the Judeo-Christian faith compels us to recognize the image of God in other human beings—and therefore to pause and honor that image by being good listeners.
I trust and pray that this article may realize God’s mission in the world by encouraging a holy posture toward one another.
Of course, faith in Jesus Christ comes by the Word and the Word made flesh. Words matter. But sometimes the more incarnational expression of our faith is necessary. Being there—being completely present for the sake of another, with all faculties focused on that one in need—is a Biblical concept. — Michael A. Milton
The Scriptural Foundation: Philippians 2:1–11 (ESV)
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name,
so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Trading Depth for Disappointment
When we treat relationships as transactions, we trade depth for disappointment.
Imagine two colleagues—two salesmen in the same organization, once eager to collaborate, who began to see every interaction as a negotiation, every favor, every idea, and every effort measured, tallied, and stored.
“Hey, I gave you a lead for your territory! Where’s my lead, old buddy?” But the old buddy bit grew stale. When one failed to reciprocate exactly as expected, trust eroded. “Hey, idiot! I gave you a lead, and you didn’t give me one! What gives?” The other salesman replies, “I don’t have any more leads to give you!” So, the former friend responds, “So, Dude, you need to cough up a new lead, or you can find a new friend.” That was it. No more collaboration. Of course, the “friend” bit was a sham. Once full of promise, their partnership devolved into insidious scorekeeping and growing resentment. Eventually, the relationship collapsed—not because of a lack of talent or opportunity, but because each saw the other as a means to an end rather than a person to be valued.
Transactional relationships reduce people to commodities, turning meaningful shared goals into highly individualized, self-serving obsessions.
I got to tell you: There are times when I caught myself slipping into this fleshly mindset—helping someone only to expect something in return, or feeling slighted when my efforts weren’t immediately matched. It is quite pathological. And very human. But the results are like mowing over a yellow jacket’s nest. Maybe you’ve felt that sting too.
Thankfully, God has shown us a better way—a way to honor His presence in others, not for what they can give us, but for who they are.
Christlike Relationships: The Call of Philippians 2
This is precisely what the Apostle Paul calls us to in Philippians 2:1–11. Paul urges the Church to unity, humility, and love, grounded in the example of Christ, who, though fully God, emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant and humbling Himself to the point of death on a cross.
Christ’s humility is the model for all Christian relationships, and His exaltation assures us that God honors such self-giving love.
We realize God’s goals for our lives by honoring His presence in others. Honor Christ by honoring others.
Transactional relationships reduce people to commodities, turning meaningful shared goals into highly individualized, self-serving obsessions. — Michael A. Milton
How Do We Honor His Presence in Others?
Here are three transformative “I and Thou” initiatives from Philippians 2 that each of us can follow, and three personal resolutions regarding my relationships.
1. Receive the Mind of Christ
"In humility count others more significant than yourselves." (Phil. 2:3)
When a family or team embraces a shared vision—not by enforcing uniformity, but by seeking to understand and honor each other—unity flourishes. The mind of Christ is not about losing ourselves but about being transformed into a people who reflect His self-giving love. The powerful paradox of the ministry of presence is that as we focus on others rather than on a transactional goal, we more nearly move toward God’s mission. When we focus only on the mission without regard for human beings, we are more likely to fail. And even if we succeed, we have to ask ourselves, “Have we truly realized the goal of God? Or is this my goal?” If so, then “Verily I say unto you, They have their reward” (Matthew 6:2).
RESOLVED,
I will begin every relationship and consider every decision with the question, “How can I reflect Christ’s humility and love to others in this situation?”
This is necessary for families, workplaces, and churches to move toward God’s goals. It is necessary as I write these words.
The powerful paradox of the ministry of presence is that as we focus on others rather than on a transactional goal, we more nearly move toward God’s mission. — Michael A. Milton
2. Re-Orient Our Prerogatives
"Christ did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant" (Phil. 2:6–7).
This passage is often misunderstood. Jesus did not “empty Himself” of His divinity. He remained God the Son while assuming human nature. The point of Paul’s statement is that the Lord Jesus Christ left His royal robes at His throne in Heaven and came down to earth to live the life we couldn’t live and to die the death that should have been ours. This is about royal servanthood.
Authentic leadership is all about servanthood, and true love involves giving one’s life for another. I think of how David Gates of Bread put it in one of his many hit songs: “A sweet surrender.” Recognizing and embracing the theological truths of the Incarnation are essential keys to unlocking the door of unity. Moreover, unity in Christ generates extraordinary energy that can propel us toward God’s mission in the world.
RESOLVED,
I will approach each mission in life, great or mundane, with a question to myself: “How can I use what I have—my influence, resources, or gifts—to encourage and bless others?”
The mission is accomplished not by self-promotion but by mutual upbuilding.
3. Follow Christ’s Pattern Toward Glory
"Therefore God has highly exalted him… so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow…" (Phil. 2:9–10)
Jesus’ march to resurrection, ascension, and enthronement followed the pathway of love-generated obedience, service, surrender, and sacrifice. “Therefore God highly exalted Him.” Exaltation follows sacrifice.
Christian communities thrive where individuals lay aside personal agendas for a greater mission. When we follow Christ’s humility and serve one another, God brings unity, growth, and lasting impact. He also unleashes the joyous fruit of such humility: joy.
RESOLVED,
Out of gratitude to what God has done for me in Jesus Christ, I rededicate my life to seek humility and service, trusting that God will use my grace-empowered obedience to advance His kingdom and bring true satisfaction and joy.
To trust God’s promises about humility and building up others as a way to lasting victory demands that you sacrifice your best to God. It is very much like giving your first-fruits of income to God’s work:
“Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this,” Says the LORD of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it” (Malachi 3:10 NKJV).
Of course, given my struggle with the “old man,” whose venom still tinges the redeemed blood in my veins, I am capable of hijacking “humility” to promote myself rather than others. I must live life with biblically-proven self-examination, because “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it” (Jeremiah 17:9 ESV)?
Christlike Community: A Living Witness
These three initiatives—receiving the mind of Christ, reorienting our prerogatives, and following Christ’s pattern—form the foundation for authentic Christian community and mission.
Paul calls us to Christlike relationships marked by humility and sacrifice, aiming toward the gospel goal of a new heaven and a new earth.
What does this look like? Well, I think of John and Abigail Adams, whose partnership (i.e., their “marriage,” which is infinitely more special than an arrangement of pooled wisdom and labor) thrived not through mere exchanges but through covenantal love, mutual respect, deep listening, and a willingness to learn from each other. Their relationship flourished because they saw and honored the value in one another. There was nothing transactional about their love, as we witness in their letters. These individuals are surrendered to one another, and in their sweet surrender, they find personal joy, even amid the chaotic early days of America’s founding.
The same is true for us. The people who have most shaped my life are those who gave themselves to encouraging and supporting me. I am forever grateful. My responsibility is to share the grace I have received—beginning with my family and friends, and extending to all whom God brings across my path.
I heard someone call this teaching “Better Together.” And that is a good way to put it. The goal is not merely to finish the race alone but to arrive together, united in love, having seen the face of Christ in each other. We will not only realize God’s goals but also find soul satisfaction in following Jesus Christ as we do. How we walk together on this journey is as vital as the destination. Indeed, the way we walk determines the precise location of our destination.
As I think of my friend and how she brings her active listening to her relationships, I am reminded that the ministry of presence is a gift from God and a beautiful imitation of Christ. The ministry of presence is a rare and precious gift, but not unattainable for the rest of us. We just need to listen, learn, and love. And yes, it is one of those things that sounds easy but is not. It requires a sacrifice of self to build up another. But God is glorified in such a way of life, and if done as a thankful response to the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus our Lord, it is a Christian virtue well worth pursuing.
I ask the Lord to cultivate that mind of Christ in me. Yet, even that goal is best pursued in the presence of others. This means that my personal goals, hopes, dreams—and even my prayers—must necessarily include you.
“The ministry of presence.”
“Being there.”
“Better together.”
Isn’t that just like Jesus?
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
Reflection Questions
These questions and suggested answers are designed to foster honest reflection, practical application, and deeper understanding of Christlike humility and unity.
1. What does it mean to “have the same mind” and “the same love” as described in Philippians 2:2?
It means to pursue unity and harmony with others in the community, sharing a Christ-centered purpose and love. This involves setting aside personal agendas and working together for God’s greater mission.
2. How does Paul describe humility in this passage, and why is it essential for Christian relationships?
Paul describes humility as valuing others above ourselves and looking out for their interests. It is essential because it reflects Christ’s own humility and is the foundation for genuine, loving relationships that honor God.
3. In what ways did Jesus “empty Himself,” and how can we follow His example in our daily lives?
Jesus set aside His divine privileges and became a servant, even to the point of dying on the cross. We follow His example by serving others selflessly and being willing to sacrifice comfort or status for their good.
4. Can you identify a recent situation where you acted out of selfish ambition or conceit? How could you have responded differently?
(Group leader: Encourage honest sharing. Possible answer:)
Maybe I insisted on having my way in a group project or sought recognition. I could have listened more, valued others’ input, and sought ways to serve the group rather than promote myself.
5. Why do you think God highly exalted Jesus after His humility and obedience? What does this reveal about God’s values?
God exalts humility and self-giving love. This shows that in God’s kingdom, greatness comes through serving others, not through power or self-promotion. God honors those who honor others.
6. What is one practical step you can take this week to “count others more significant than yourself”?
(Group leader: Encourage specific, actionable responses.)
I could intentionally listen to someone who feels overlooked, offer to help a coworker without expecting anything in return, or let someone else’s preference take priority in a decision.
Bibliography
Bauckham, Richard. Bible and Mission: Christian Witness in a Postmodern World. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2003.
Bosch, David J. Transforming Mission: Paradigm Shifts in Theology of Mission. Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 1991.
Buber, Martin. I and Thou. United Kingdom: T&T Clark, 1996.
McCullough, David. John Adams. United Kingdom: Simon & Schuster, 2001.
Milton, Michael A. “A Theology of Partnerships”. Figshare, October 20, 2022. https://doi.org/10.6084/m9.figshare.21372030.v1.
_____. Fulfilling God’s Mission in the World as One. A Theology of Partnerships. Germany: GRIN Verlag, 2020.
Newbigin, Lesslie. The Gospel in a Pluralist Society. Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1989.
O’Brien, Peter T. The Epistle to the Philippians: A Commentary on the Greek Text. Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1991.
Stott, John. Christian Mission in the Modern World. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books, 2008.
Wright, Christopher J. H. The Mission of God: Unlocking the Bible’s Grand Narrative. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2006.
White, James Emery. “Rethinking the Church for a Postmodern Age.” Journal of the Evangelical Theological Society 44, no. 1 (2001): 11–25
Withey, Lynne. Dearest Friend: A Life of Abigail Adams. United Kingdom: Atria Books, 2002.
Stephen Davey, “The Ministry of Presence: Meaning and Importance,” Christianity.com, October 20, 2022, https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-life/the-ministry-of-presence-11561796.html.